Life is good. I meet Ayn last Sunday at the young kinksters munch and spent the evening with her. Tomorrow we will be going to whipsters together. It is great knowing someone in the lifestyle and being able to go to events together. My room is also clean which is a great plus. Now I just have to get that paper done that I have been neglecting for way too long.

We didn't start the fire. I love that song. I heard it on the way to work last night. The Cather in the Rye. When that book was mentioned in the song I remembered my most memorable date. The one I, Rabid Dawg had with Raven Vixen. I had the Cather in the Rye in my pocket and pulled it out to show onlookers during the date. What a great night. Too bad she got mad at me for the comment about her putting the stick where it belongs when I drove her home. She didn't appreciate the bad sexual pun I got published in the school paper after I drove her home in her manual transmission car. Hey, I have trouble finding reverse sometimes. That is also the book Kathy and I read together. I'm going to have to get another copy of it today. Makes me think of Conspiracy Theory and some famous guy who committed an assisination while holding the book.
Well work was all right. Then it improved damatically after I remembered it was friday and there were donuts. I only had four this morning.
Today I will be playing spades with Bridget. Heading to bank for more checks. And finally getting another copy of The Cather in the Rye, and doing some reading. I'm not sure if I will sleep or not.

Just home from work. Collins truck had a new load chart. I followed it as well as I could even though it was messed up. When he came in, he balled it up and told me to load like I was loading his truck. Also got some big hits of computers which made it fun moving around the trucks. One hit was split between my trucks and another had to be left out.
I was an idiot recientally. When writing something that the person receiving it could be disgusted by don't send it right away. I was thinking on my way to work last night. Who am I to look down upon someone for actions that took place long ago not knowing the circumstances surrounding them. I need to remember those things I did which I regret. There were two different things I have done which I never should have done. One of those things I told to an ex-gf, but I never plan on speaking of those things to another human. If I meet someone who did similar things I would feel that they should be killed, if not imprisoned for life. When I basically feel that I deserve grave punishment for what I did a long time ago, but have gone free, how can I judge another for something that happened long before I knew her.
What to do now. I feel tired, but have a presentation to prepare for. I'm going back to my just don't care mentality. I'll get some half assed presentation and visuals ready by 6 tonight. Time to go to bed, and set the alarm for 2 so I have time to do my homework.

I am the Nihilist Bear. I have to agree with that. It has been a while since I have cared about much. Marvin was the last one I deeply cared about and that ended badly. I am fearful of Kathy ever finding out about that. Now I met Tasha, and want to care about her, but I am afraid that I will come on too strong. My relationship with Kathy taught me that I need to be happy just to be around Tasha. I cannot demand her attention all of the time, but have to be happy just to be near her. I was happy spending Saturday with her. I just want to spend more time with her and Richard.
I will see her at Thursday at the munch, and until then I have homework to work on and tonight I have a bachlor party to go to. I can and will enjoy myself.

Nihilist Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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My results

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

I finally got home. Yesterday Tasha and Richard came over. We went to Annie's Parlor for dinner. Then to Marcey park for a while to play on the playground. Then stopped by the car and my apartment for a blanket and fireworks on the way to St. Anthony Main area to watch the fireworks.
Richard is extremely friendly, and a good kid. I am unsure if I can deal with a kid though. After the fireworks I was invited to spend the night where Tasha was staying. On the couch downstairs that was. Tasha is a wonderful girl. I'm just not sure how much I can deal with.
I glanced and saw that I have a bit of schoolwork to do for this week. Time to get a start on it. Coffee shop time.

Been a while since I have been here. Yesterday was a great day. I went to the coffee shop during the day and ran into Ben, and old friend. He is still hanging out with Chaz and he has a great job at Honeywell. We exchanged phone numbers and I am going to have to go out drinking with them some night.
I went to the munch last night. I was tired last night, but apparently according to cadee I was drooling over Tasha. I don't remember doing that, but I did like her. We exchanged email addresses and later that night while chatting online we made plans for today. Dinner with her, and her son tonight followed by fireworks in the St. Anthony main area. Should be a great day. My last date was on Valentine's day. I like holidays.
Tonight was Bernt's last night at work. I am going to miss working with him. Greg will be taking over. I didn't talk to him much, but hope he can get the job done. He had horrible teachers tonight. Judd will do a better job training him next week.