straight from http://www.mndaily.com/articles/2007/06/20/71986

From Rabid Dawg

Hello, all-knowing Network.

Network Memory Send entries to: network@mndaily.com - Previous Network

Net: Hello, small-brained plebeian. As you know, but I'm sure no current students remember, I, Rabid Dawg, have been milling around the St. Paul campus for the last two years. Net: No restraining order stops Rabid Dawg! I never obtained a piece of paper saying I was edumicated, Net: Anyone who uses the word "edumicated" gets an automatic fail. so I felt the need to find a job that would keep me around this fine institution. My dilemma is that I have found a scrumptious morsel which I have enjoyed chewing on. Net: If there were any a time for us to puke, this would be that time. Aside for chaining her to my bed, are there any other good ways to convince a college-age lass to scratch my tummy? Net: There is no conceivable answer to that question. I would ask dr. date, but he never gave me any good advice while in college. Net: We don't do dating advice, or in your case, creepy-dude-who-hangs-around-campus advice. Thanks for reading though, that's nice.

I found Ariana Vaeler's live journal. I ended up reading all of the entries and was happy to see that I was referenced in a couple of the more recent ones.
I talked with Gretel Sunday night and now know that things are over between us. That information really helped my mindset today. In some ways I would have liked her to be my girlfriend, but we were never able to develop that kind of connection. I'm happy she found someone, and hope that he treats her like she deserves. That and the rain made for a great day. I felt so good I asked Chris (UPS driver I see during the day) if he wanted to fight. He said sure. It may have been fun, but I decided not to. He is around 45 to 50 years old and would have definitely kicked my ass.
Near the end of the day I got a call about the truck insurance I need to get by the first of next month. surprisingly it will only cost 8.5K for the year. Not something I want to pay, but that will take another pressure of my mind once I have it taken care of.
I also finally have a friend on my myspace account. Now I need to update the page and seek out more friends on there.

Gretel just left after spending a couple hours with me. It was a fun evening playing upstairs in the attic. Then we cuddled and watched TV. She fed me a pop tart. :-) I think I am secure in the relationship between us. Not what I ideally want, but tons better than the alternative of not seeing her at all.
Last Friday I was an idiot and got a complaint at work even though I had the week off. I'm sure I am going to get talked to tomorrow morning by management, and hopefully it will not go too badly.
Then Saturday I went to ground zero for bondage a go-go for the second time in the past week. It was a blast being there. I got to flirt with a girl there for her bachelorette party. She even let me stroke the dildo she was carrying around all night.

here is my letter to Gretel which will also be posted my blog.
I haven't been too good in writing to it, but http://louiskeith.blogspot.com/ is the address of my blog.
This may hurt reading some, but I'm sure it will help me some. Some of what I write will be selfish, but I
don't care. Here it is.You left shortly before 4am and I stayed up until after 6am. It is now 9:30 and I am in the coffee shop
typing this up. I have been up for over an hour already. Lots of thoughts going through my mind. I need
to write them down to help myself out, and also so I can tell them again to you and leave you with a
decision or two to make. Just noticed a voicemail from Joe. Says he is fucked. Time to call him and
mention I will not be available today. He is laughing because he knows how bad it is. I may meet up with
him on the chance that cute girl what was in the office on Tuesday is back there today. I have questions for you, but it is no use asking them. Last night you said you talk to Richard and
Charlie. They would probably have a better chance telling me what I want to know than you would. How I
figure it right now, last night may have been the last night you will sleep over my apartment. If you don't
like my alternative then give me my key back sometime at work and I will take that as your decision.
Otherwise spend a little bit writing back to me and telling me what you think. How I see it now, we kinda have a friends with benefits relationship, that involves more of the benefits
then friends part. My problem has been thinking of you as a girlfriend, and wanting you to think of me in
the same way which wasn't going to happen. So how about you become my toy to use and play with as I see fit. When you come over we may go out or just
stay at my apartment, but during that time you will be mine. I will expect you to come over at least one
night a week. I hate not knowing when I will see you until I get the surprise call in the evening asking if
I want company. Over the weekend, before you go to sleep on Sunday, call and tell me what night you want to
come over, and approximate times you can get here, and when you have to be gone. With advance warning I
will be better prepared for you and may have something set up already. Limits will be respected, though you will probably be penetrated ever time. I will respect your safe words
and continue to negotiate with you. Either before going to sleep, or in e-mail within a day I expect a
post-scene. Ideally telling me what was god, bad, and your feelings on the play. If you will not share
that, then I want an e-mail documenting what I did to you. Briefly before I went to bed, and again after showering and laying in bed I had bad thoughts going through
my head. They were there off and on dealing with the DWI and FedEx. After meeting you and hearing about
Chris I figured if for no other reason I could not think of putting you through that again. (if you share
this with any hot line or the police I will want nothing to do with you, except to make your life hell.)
Well I could go back to my parents house. I have a gun that was issued to Louis F Leonard in 1975 and has
never been fired. There is a rock outcropping in the woods behind a neighbor's house. Right in the
crevice is somewhere no one would find me for months. All this just so I could try and hurt you like how I
feel hurt by you now. Unfortunately my car would be a give away that was in Rochester, though I could park it in town, and take a
Taxi home. That or buy a bike and ditch in in the woods somewhere. I could even take out a large amount of
cash and send it to Kim to help her out before I go. Though it would be too much work getting rid of the
things in my apartment I wouldn't want my parents seeing. They already moved me out of an apartment once
when I was hospitalized. Fortunately I didn't own anything questionable at that time. That and I am too lazy to do all that work just to get back at you. It would be the easy way out. Jill
drank the bottle of vodka and then went swimming in the Mississippi. I was more upset at her than anything
for taking the easy way out of life. Still too much to do in life. After reading this send me a quick message back telling me you have finished reading it so I know you have
gotten it. I'm going to text message you after I send it to tell you to expect it coming. Hopefully before
the weekend is over you will have a little time to type up a response. I know there is a lot of rambling here. I'll proofread it soon without making any major changes, but I
think in summary I am asking if you will consent to being my toy at least one night a week. I'm not
planning on calling you anymore, and will not expect calls from you. If you agree, then just an e-mail or
call telling me what day and times you have open for me. If you want to continue this, then I expect the
same sharing of information out of you like yo told me last night. I forgot to look last night and I'm
fairly sure you removed it since I didn't notice it, but when exactly did you take the rope off of your
wrist, or did I somehow not see it?
Well time to cut and paste and then text you